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Tuesday, September 21, 2004 Death Does Not Become Her
It was a tragic death that came without any warning. There was no time to prepare for an inevitable departure, just a sudden, empty void where moments before a full heart had known joy. As one who has always strived for a non-judgmental approach to life, open to situations and events with a free-spirited attitude, and a lust for a wide variety of relationships and experiences, it is still difficult to wrap my understanding around the concept of intentional betrayal. I find it hard to comprehend someone feeling the need to attempt to betray me when honesty, in whatever form it might take, would be received at face value, simply for what it was – the situation or circumstance as it was – reality and truth. Maybe if someone just met me, they might not know my true soul but, those who know me should “know me” well enough to know that I expect honesty in its simplest and purest form in all of my relationships. But, for you to knowingly, willingly, perpetuate an unnecessary lie that, without warning, was revealed to me by someone with no knowledge of your deception, and no reason to try to hurt me, literally caused a piece of my heart to die; a death that was preventable by you merely telling the truth. And, what did you gain by the deception? Nothing. There was nothing to gain by it. Which makes it all the more incomprehensible as to why you would maintain this lie for months instead of just being honest at the onset. Roget's Thesaurus doesn't mince words when it comes to how it views the word – betrayal; and neither does Merriam-Webster's Dictionary when it comes to the word – deceive:
Ahhhhhhh! There we have it – LYING! Plain and simple. No fancy words, no flowery connotations, just five little letters, strung together, to spell out the word … L – Y – I – N – G! Didn't your mother teach you that lying was wrong? I'm sure she did; she was a decent woman who wanted the best for you, and who was always there for you when you needed her. Now that she is gone, are you going to discredit her memory with your behavior? And, what kind of example does this set for your children, or for your new stepchildren? I am nowhere near perfect, and I'm not claiming to be a saint, but I do give my very heart and soul to my true friends – with all of the respect, love, commitment and honesty that real friendship should possess. Perhaps that is my downfall in expecting others to have the same dedication to the meaning of friendship that I hold dear but, to me, true friendship is a relationship that is open, honest and shares all -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- "... that's what friends are for." In the midst of my pain, I still found the strength to hold it together; I considered your feelings and the ensuing consequences (see? I still respected our friendship), and I refrained from inflicting any retaliatory damages that, in all honesty, would have been much worse for you than the pain I had just received. And, believe me, that pain was almost unbearable! In hindsight, would I have done anything different? As they say, hindsight is always 20/20 so, I guess we'll never know for sure now, will we?
Originally published Thursday June 12, 2003 (bw) 2003 © Copyrighted Materials - All Rights Reserved. Susan Reno-Gilliland A Southern Belle's Life # posted by Kitty : 1:32 PM
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"a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma" --- Miss Kitty, an Irish lass, a true Southern Belle; writer, photographer, artist, interior designer, animal-lover, dreamer, stargazer, cop-groupie, 70's junkie, cbc, slightly obsessive iNFp with stories to tell! ... (fascinated by forensics, human behavior, pushing all the right buttons of men she finds interesting, and seeking utterly-sweet revenge without any repercussions. ) --- "Darlin', don't ever take a Southern woman for granted!" [tm] Feeling the uncontrollable urge to shower me with gifts?!? Check out my Amazon 
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